Every day I look at my son and I am amused and wrapped in love and joy each time he smiles, giggles, laughs, talks, babbles pretty much breaths. I knew it would be like this. I knew it was like this for other parents- or I imagined it. I knew it would be an unconditional love that you cannot even describe. But what I guess I didnt really know, is how dumbfounded I would be, while he did small things- you know like play and sit there.
Today I set up my calendar for November and mentioned that his birthday is next month to my coworker, and I shared that in some ways, I feel like its a celebration for him, but really its a celebration for us, well... and more so for me. I know my hubby had and has a huge part in the last year, but giving birth was the most phenominal experience of my life. I remember pretty much every second- I wrote it down too, so I wouldnt forget it. That experience was like an out of body experience. I felt such passion during those minutes. The contractions and the pain that preceeded the birth were special and I will not forget that time either; laughter when hubby and I couldnt seem to find the way to open the faucet - the handles are on the floor so the doctors don't have to touch anything while they wash their hands- trying to get through the pain, by keeping a rhythm that somehow got me taking a few salsa steps, my parents and hubby's dad coming to our room; every second was memorable, but giving birth was such a relief and I felt like I did such a good job... it was so gratifying to bring this beautiful and healthy child into our world. I truly feel like November 20th is also about me and my effort and that journey... maybe that is why mothers have such a connection to their children, because that day/time just means so much. So much happens in those minutes/hours- relief, anxiety, joy, pain, happiness, relief, pressure, release, nervousness, so many emotions.
As I reflect on the month ahead and the celebration that is to take place, I will definitely take a few moments to celebrate the fact that I made my miracle happen. I will take a little extra time to enjoy him and I encourage other women who have this miraculous gift of giving birth take place, to take a moment, pause and celebrate YOU. Something happens when we give birth- something that everyone told us would happen... "its all about the baby", which is fine, but in looking back at how much joy he's brought us and how wonderful that experience was (for me) I think all mothers need to be commended for going through it.
Whether you give birth naturally, via C-section or whether you adopt, the day you become a mommy, the minute you step into that role, your life changes. But something about the science behind giving birth, made all the difference for me!
Can't believe he is almost a yeard old!